Friday Reflection: Have We Built Enough Value Yet?
No we have not.
It’s Friday. We are pausing our relentless efficiency engine for a moment to ask ourselves the most important question we ask every week: “What value have we created for shareholders this week?”
Here at Dignified Product, Zack and I are guided by a simple Zen-like principle: when asked, “How much is enough?” we chant in unison, “More.” This isn’t just business, but our sacred duty to our shareholders. More features? Yes. More hours? Obvi. More caffeine-induced hallucinations of productivity? Double-duh. The pursuit of “more” isn’t just our strategy, it’s our moral compass, and the needle is always pointing straight to profit.
Overachievement is our cause
How do we show we’re true believers in delighting our shareholders? Simple: we out-stay, out-work, and out-caffeinate our competition. When we think of shareholder value just waiting to be unleashed, we lock ourselves in the office like Triangle Shirtwaist Factory girls, ready to battle nights, weekends, holidays, and the time-space continuum to squeeze every drop of profit from our operations. Add a feature? Slap on a fee. Sell that data. Privacy is so 1990s, and it’s 2024 and no one cares about their data anymore, so let’s maximize the value it can deliver! The horizon of exploitation is ripe for the taking, and we’re arriving in boats to extract as much value we can. The shareholders demand no less. Literally.
Sometimes, we’re even rewarded, even without asking! If the stars align, and the printer gods are appeased, and the stationary store is running a clearance sale, someone will be graced with an “Employee of the Month” certificate, printed on paper thick enough to feel the weight of our sacrifices. The shareholder trickled down some expenses, and sometimes they’ll even allow us to throw a pizza party. (Little Cesar’s only, and only two-slices per individual contributing team, because if you’re well fed then what are you working toward?)
Unfortunately, the coveted “Employee of the Month” award has gone vacant for several months. A reminder on how we haven’t delivered on our promise of “more” quite yet, because we haven’t squeezed ourselves hard enough to turn digital sweat into shareholder blood diamonds. Can you imagine the sleepless nights our investors endure, pondering how they might have to get a hand-me-down yacht instead of a custom-made premium personal vessel? Someone please think of the shareholders!
Weekends are our battleground
Remember, clocks? They are always ticking. It’s a reminder of the bomb of opportunity ready to explode into profits! While the world rests, we’re in the trenches, waging a war against the concept of downtime. “There’s still time until Sunday night,” we whispered to ourselves today. We all know, success is just one more caffeine-fueled sleepless weekend away!
Zack and I have pledged that if we don’t deliver astronomical value by Monday, we might just hand in our resignation letters to ourselves. It’s this kind of pressure that truly tests our mettle and motivates us to keep going. Who needs a work-life balance when there’s spreadsheets to balance instead?
As we navigate a competitive landscape, we constantly ask ourselves: have we thrown enough ideas out there to discover the next billion-dollar revenue generator, or will we simply be a footnote in the grand ledger of late-stage capitalism? The quest for excellence isn’t just about feature dumps; it’s a spiritual journey to find how much of ourselves we can trade for a chance to impress shareholders.
Reminder: enough is never enough
Remember, in the grand scheme, we’re not just chasing profits; we’re chasing the dream. The dream where our value to shareholders is matched by our disregard for the concept of “too much.” So, like all of you, we’re going to keep pushing, keep striving, committing to long weekend nights in the office, and who knows? Maybe one day, we’ll find out that “more” was inside us all along? (Spoiler: It’s not. More is always more. Keep going.)
