Here at Dignified Product, Zack and I are guided by a simple Zen-like principle: when asked, “How much is enough?” we chant in unison, “More.”

We had delivered through the many weeks, an abominable product so addictive, it would wreck the thumbs of children as they scrolled, endlessly captivated by the millions of content our new product: A.S.M.O.D.E.U.S. (App Simulating Malicious Occult Digital Engagements & Undermining Society)

If caught in this state, isolate yourself in a box and begin meowing pathetically until someone stages an observation intervention.

-Farty Pagan, Product Coach

Keeping a product alive can feel like a juggling act of comedy, depression, and preservation. In our experience, we’ve had to keep products alive for years in order to stay employed. Here’s where we’ve drawn inspiration.

“Why are you wearing that stupid [Product] Man[ager] suit?”